The Unwritten Rules of Reeling

The Royal Caledonian Ball came round again on the first of May. For many reelers it is the grandest night of the year. For a fair few it is their first proper ball.

Either way, it is a good moment to talk about the things nobody hands you on a printed card.

Reeling has a code. Most of it is never written down. You tend to pick it up by getting something wrong once, catching the look on someone's face, and not doing it again. None of it is difficult. None of it is about being grand. It is mostly about not spoiling the evening for the seven other people in your set.

Here is the code, more or less.

Learn the dances before you go

Most programmes are published well in advance. The Royal Caledonian Ball publishes its own. There is no real excuse for standing in a set looking lost while everyone moves around you.

If you are unsure, ask beforehand. Reelers are almost always glad to remind a newcomer about a dance. What tries their patience is someone going confidently and completely the wrong way. Uncertainty is fine. Misplaced confidence is not. 

This said, a ball like “The Cally” or one of the Scottish Season is not the place for you to learn to reel. Don’t embarrass your host so make sure to practice. John Carver’s reeling.com is an invaluable guide. 

Be honest about timings

If work is going to make you late for the pre-ball dinner, say so in advance. You usually know days ahead, not minutes. Turning up an hour late with no warning leaves your host holding a seat and holding the room. A short message the day before makes their evening much easier.

The same goes for the dancing. If you know you will miss the moment where the dance cards are filled beforehand, tell your host, so your card can be sorted in your absence.

The dance card

Wait until your whole party has arrived before you start filling cards in. Sorting them while half the group is still in the cloakroom only means doing them twice. It’s just good manners too.

Ask for a dance with everyone in your party at least once before you ask for a second with anyone. Monopolising one person's card while someone else sits out is not kind or fair or reasonable.

If someone in your party is going to be late, take their card and fill it for them. Nobody should arrive to find their card empty because it did not occur to anyone to do it.

And never stand your partner up. If you take a break between dances, do not drift so far or for so long that you miss the next one. Everyone in the room has paid a good deal for the evening. Missing a dance because you lost track of time is hard on the person left on the floor - and in a set reel like the Eightsome, ruins things for the whole party.

Forming a set

When a set forms, number off properly, and remember your number. You need to know when your turn comes. The dance will not wait while you work it out.

If you arrive after the lines have started forming, go to the bottom. You cannot slot your party into the middle because it suits you. It pushes people who were there first off the floor. For the same reason, do not try to cut in at the top.

Do not just presume either that everyone will be “dancing Aberdonian” (all the way down the line). There may be several sets in the line. Keep an eye out and remind couples gently if they’re nearing the end of the line and might not know.

Once you are in a set, stay in it. Do not abandon a dance halfway through because you have decided you would rather be a one in a livelier set down the room or you have your eye on someone. You have left seven people with a hole where you were standing.

Between goes

While you are waiting for your turn as a 'Two', do not practise spins and turns with people from other sets. You are not warming up. You are a hazard to everyone moving around you.

Overhead turns

Read your partner. Not everyone wants to be turned overhead, and it is not the default setting. A good dancer notices.

If you are happy to be turned overhead, offer your hands with your thumbs pointing up. Thumbs down makes a clean and safe turn more difficult.

Also, if there’s one thing that separately the elegant reeling gent from the over-enthusiastic amateur it’s this: wait until your partner has caught her balance before letting go after a spin. It is a small thing, and it makes a real difference.

Reeling at a party

Do not start a reel at a private party unless the host has said you may. Not every drawing room is built for it. The floor, the furniture and the neighbours are not your call to make.

One last thing

None of this is about being stuffy. The code exists because reeling works best when everyone knows it, and the whole pleasure of a ball is getting it right together. Learn the dances, look after your party, mind the people around you, and you will be welcome in any set in the country.

And when the evening is over, the dance card is the only honest record of it. Who you danced with, who you were meant to dance with, and who you danced with twice. Worth keeping. Which is, more or less, the whole idea behind what we make.